The Marauder's secret code
by jillybear
Summary: The marauders make up a secret code to discuss personal matters around others, that and for their own amusement. Can lily crack the code? LJ T for sexual references. COMPLETE
1. the code

**A/N: Just a random one shot about the marauders and some L/J action. Just so you know my friends and I made up this code to freak people out in public, can't take all of the credit for it myself! By the way, I know I'm supposed to be working on my sequel story for opportunities but this got in my head and I couldn't get it out, don't worry I will start typing up the first chapter in a few days.**

**Dedicated to my friends Aisyy and Crayon-Chan!**

**Disclaimer: sigh if only I actually did own Harry Potter… (Looks longingly out a window, wait a tic, there aren't any windows in my basement!)**

The Marauder's secret code

All four of the Marauders sat in the Gryffindor common room sulking (well… mainly Sirius). Professor McGonagall had caught them sending notes in class. Yes, that alone is bad but these notes were about some, well… Sexual experiences/problems that Sirius was going through. Not only had they received a lengthy lecture about passing notes in class but she had also gone on about how "Matters on sexual intercourse are not to be discussed in my class!". Naturally now the entire class was pestering them to tell them what the notes were about although they already had a pretty good idea.

"You know that wouldn't have happened out if we had a code…" Sirius stated.

"It also wouldn't have happened if we hadn't been passing notes in class." Remus responded.

James just sat there thinking about Sirius' suggestion. He just might have thought of an interesting idea…

"I think you might have something there Padfoot." Sirius gave a silent cheer while James stood up and started to pace.

"We could switch around sexual words with normal objects!" Now he was on a roll.

"Like sex with pizza!" Sirius was jumping up and down with excitement while Remus merely glanced over the top of his book

"Exactly! And virginity with… Ugh…" now he was stuck.

"Glove! As in Peter still has yet to lose his glove even though he is 17! Actually what am I saying…? He lost it to Snape! (**A/n: that would make more sense if you read opportunities)**" James snickered at Sirius' comment while protests from Peter could be heard coming from the corner of the couch where he was being smothered by couch cushions curtsey of Sirius.

"Oooh! Hungry and Horny! As in I'm sooo hungry for pizza right now." The two high-fived each other at James' suggestion.

"What else could we use?"

"How about kinky and fluffy?" Remus said softly.

"Wow, Remus who knew you had it in you? I guess we finally rubbed off on you!" Sirius was pretty impressed that Remus had actually taken part in their new activity.

"I'm going to write these down so we don't forget." While Remus scratched down their new code Sirius and James discussed the possibilities they could use the code for.

Over the next week or so they put the code to good use, such as…

Monday: "Boys could you help me search my office? I seem to have lost my left glove…" professor McGonagall didn't know why all four boys were rolling on her office floor, near the verge of tears from their fits of laughter.

Tuesday: "James is hungry for Evans!"

"What are you going to do Potter? Eat me?"

Wednesday: "Professor Dumbledore… Would you say you like the muggle food called pizza?"

"Why of course Mr. Black. Why wouldn't I?" he said with twinkling eyes. Naturally they were all a little weirded out by this.

Thursday: "Snape have you by any chance ever lost a glove?" this was all too good for James.

"No. Unlike some people I take care of my personal possessions!"

Friday: "Hey Evans! Do you like fluffy things?" James was starting to hate Sirius but curious as to what she would say.

"Why of course, do you honestly know any girls who don't?"  
"Unfortunately…" Sirius said with a sigh.

Saturday (on the way to the Great Hall): Evans! You hungry?"

"Duh, I am heading to breakfast!"

Sunday morning (switch to Lily's point of view)

Lily sat on the couch in the Gryffindor common at 5:30 am. She hadn't been able to sleep because of him again! She didn't get it. Lately it was like the more he annoyed her the more she looked forward to it. Damnit, she was actually starting to like James.

_Why did it have to be James, I mean Potter of all people? Him and his bloody gorgeous self._

To make matters worse he hadn't asked her out at all lately. The only question she had been asked within the past month from him at all had been "You hungry?"! What kind of question was that?! Of course she was. With a sigh she layed down on the couch only to hear a crinkling sound coming from between the cushions. After a bit of digging she pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. When she smoothed it out she saw that it was titled "The marauder's secret code".

_Now this could explain a lot._

After scanning through the list a look of horror appeared on Lily's face. She finally understood the questions. They had been asking her if she liked kinky things and was horny. With a jolt she remembered Snape saying he was still a virgin along with Dumbledore saying he like sex…

_Wait a minute! Ewwwwww! That's just wrong! Sick and wrong!_

She then also remembered hearing that James was horny… for her? Then a plan struck her. She finally knew how to make James know of her intentions…

The following Friday afternoon…

"Oh man! I am sooo glad this week is over, I despise Newts potions. Don't you James? James?" Sirius looked at James only to find him staring off somewhere. He followed his gaze to see Lily with her skirt a few inches higher than she usually kept it and the top three buttons of shirt unbuttoned.

"Ah."

As Lily started towards them Sirius took that as his cue to leave and bolted down the hallway to chat with some 6th year Hufflepuff girls.

"Hello James." James merely grunted a hello.

"I was about to go to dinner are you by any chance hungry?"

"Am I ever…" mumbled James.

"Yes, well I am very, very hungry." She whispered into his ear.

James looked into her eyes confused but when he saw her expression he knew what she was talking about. He tilted his head questionly to the side but before he could ask her how she knew about the code she skipped on her way to the Great hall. Deciding at that moment he didn't give a crap on how she knew he ran to catch up with her.

**The End**

A/n: so what do you think? Worth reviewing? Please do!

:D

jillybear


	2. news

Ok, so I decided that seeing as a bunch of people wanted me to add some more I will be continuing this story some more. It will take me at least another week to get started again but it will happen! Thanks for the reviews!

-jillybear


	3. the plan commences

The Plan commences

Lily Evans sat on her bed, with her friend Alice. She had been trying to figure out a way to put her plan into action and in doing so she would need her help.

"So they actually switched around hungry and horny? Only the marauders…" Alice said while shaking her head.

"Yeah, I know. I still really want to know how they thought of it, it's just so…. Random. Anyway, I really need to figure out a way to use it against them without them knowing I know. I really have to get James back before I tell him how I feel." While Lily continued her ranting, Alice sighed. She was used to this she had better cut her off before she went to far.

"So how did you end up liking James anyway?"

"He changed. That's the only thing I can think of. That or I changed. Maybe even both but either way I still like him. He's matured (apart from the whole code thing), he doesn't get in nearly as much trouble and I guess it helps that he seems to have gotten even cuter." She ended her last sentence with a sigh. Thinking about James always made her do that.

"Now you finally realize!" Lily just looked up at Alice with a confused look in her eye, obviously waiting for an explanation.

"He has been slowly changing for you ever since the incident at the lake during 5th year you stupid arse! That and the fact that you have always been secretly attracted to him. Not to mention that I've heard you mention his name in your sleep about a hundred times. Well… actually you did more of a moan really." Lily blushed such a deep shade of red that even her hair would be envious of.

"I did not you liar!" Alice dismissed this with a wave of her hand.

"So, what did you have planned anyways?"

(Gryffindor common room)

"Oi! Prongs! Snap out of it!" Sirius exclaimed while clapping James on the back, taking him out of his trance like state.

"I can't help it. It's Lily, she's been acting weird lately."

"Evans is a girl Prongs. They always act weird. Duh!"

"I guess…" he sighed.

"Sirius just leave the poor guy alone! You should know by now that your terrible reasoning never works on him." As usual Remus' words just went in one ear and out the other.

"Oh I know just the thing to cheer you up James!" Despite James' slight depression he was still curious.

"Ok, what!?"

"I thought of another new code word!" Remus just sighed while Sirius starting to jump up and down on the couch.

"It's pepperoni!"

"Oh really." It's funny how two people can say the same sentence meaning entirely different things. Remus' reply for example was dripping in sarcasm but James' was actually sincere. Who would have thought?

"Oh awesome! That totally ties in with the whole pizza and hungry thing! Only what are we switching it with?" Said Peter in his usual squeaky voice while he sat down carefully onto the love seat.

"Well, I decided that while our other code words have been useful they haven't exactly solved our, my, sorry, problem that was the original reason for creating the code. Hence, the word pepperoni will be associated with little Sirius." This was followed by a long minute of silence.

"Ok that's just weird!" said Peter.

"Yeah! Sirius just said hence!" James ducked as Sirius went to swipe at his head.

"I'm sorry Padfoot but why on earth would we want to talk about… Little Sirius… around others?"

"No, no, no Moony! Not just little Sirius, but little James, little, little Peter and little Remus! All of our little friends!" a snort could be heard coming from Remus while Peter just said,

"Can we leave little Peter out of this please?"

"I actually think that might work! Think about it guys, if we add this to our other words then just imagine what havoc we could wreck this time! It's bloody brilliant!" James exclaimed.

All four of the marauders (well, more like Sirius and James while Remus rolled his eyes and Peter just stood there) rubbed their hands together evilly. Unknown to them, Lily and Alice had been listening on the stairs and now knew of their plans along with their new code word.

Monday: "Oi! Snape! Do you by any chance happen to have any pepperoni on you?"

"No, of course not! If I wanted to smell like an oaf I would use your cologne Black!"

"So you don't have even a bit of pepperoni?"

"Not even a slither!"

All of the marauders and Snape looked up from their argument to see Lily choking on her cereal while Alice tried to give her some pumpkin juice, clearly holding back laughter.

Tuesday: The marauders decided that they might as well still make good use of their old code words as well…

"Oh Alice, soon to be Longbottom! Have you and Frank ever had pizza?"

"No. Not yet." She said while sticking her nose up into the air.

"Well that wasn't very much fun…"

Wednesday, during muggle studies: "Ok class, we will be having an event next Friday that muggles like to call a… Pizza party!"

"Oh! Sounds fluffy!"

Thursday: "Class, I'm afraid the professor McGonagall still can't find her left glove. So I will be helping her search her office if you need me."

"Flitwick's trying to help her regain her glove! Isn't that sweet and yet incredibly gross? Wait a tic. How does one lose their "left:" glove? Do you get more than one?"

Friday, Gryffindor common room.

"You had a close call the other day Alice! At least you avoided humiliation, unlike me last week!" Lily said while flopping onto her favorite chair.

"I should say so! Although I do hope that Frank and I have pizza soon…" she said while licking her lips.

"Alice!"

"What!? I was just joking! Well… not exactly. Anyways, not the point! What are you going to do about James? I thought that you were going to get him back somehow?" she said while leaning forward onto her elbows.

"I plan on fighting fire with fire. You'll see in a second." She said looking at the portrait hole while James entered with Sirius. As she made her way towards him Sirius did his usual bolting towards the nearest pretty girl in sight. This time it happened to be a group of fifth years that just seemed happy to have him sit there while he pretended not to listen to James' and Lily's conversation.

"Hello James." She said as she smiled coyly.

"Hello Lily…" she could tell he was nervous.

"Tell me James… Are you thirsty?"

**A/N: Sorry, I gave you a mini cliff hanger! Oh well, I really wanted to post this before tomorrow because I'll be super busy so here it is! If anyone has any code words that they would like me to use just let me know and I will see what I can do. Happy Halloween! I have to put up the second chapter to thought from a venom less snake before the next chapter of this but if you review I might make it quicker!**

**-jillybear**

**p.s Thanks to everyone who reviewed!**


	4. Parched

**A/N: If you love Remus read my story Werewolf in London!**

**Disclaimer: Is my name J.K. Rowling? I don't think so! Hp is not mine!**

Parched

_Last time…_

"_Tell me James… Are you thirsty?"_

"Ummm, what?" the expression on James' face was total confusion.

"Are you thirsty!?" she said with a smile playing on her face.

"Why do you want to know?" he didn't really trust that look on her face. She might give him a glass of water and try to poison him to death… He wouldn't put it past Lily Evans.

"Just answer my question! Are.You.Thirsty!?"

"I guess? Why…"

"Oh, just curious! That's all." She said as she skipped off to the girl's dormitories.

"Girls…" James mumbled to himself.

"What was that about mate?" Sirius asked as James sat in the arm chair across from him.

"I dunno, Evans just asked me if I was thirsty… It was strange… It was like she was actually trying to make conversation for once." His brow knitted together in confusion.

"Really… That's interesting… This situation actually reminds me of something." Sirius placed his face in his chin as he thought. Something was bothering him. If only he could place his finger on it…

"Padfoot? What are you doing?" Remus said as he walked over and sat on the floor.

"Thinking." He stated simply.

"No, seriously. What're you doing?"

"Now? Leaving so I can actually get something done." As Sirius left the common room Alice walked up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. She was a girl on a mission after all…

"What's with Padfoot? Being serious and thinking all in the same day? Wow…"

"Yeah, and he didn't even make a serious, Sirius pun…" James was now extremely confused. Both his best friend and Lily were acting weird. Something was definitely up. If he could just figure it out…

Meanwhile, up in the girl's dormitories…

"So, you really have them all confused Lily. It's almost comical." Said Alice as she sat down onto the bed.

"I know, isn't it grand?"

"Maybe for you, but what exactly does, and I quote "are you thirsty mean?". I know you, and you could not have been just asking him if he was parched."

"Oh but I was dear Alice!" she said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Lily Evans! Who do you take me for? Peter? Gosh, I should hope not! That's just plain wrong! I shouldn't have even said that!" Lily sighed as she watched her best friend shudder. She would have to tell Alice about her plan.

"Okay fine! So you know how they made up their own code and tried to humiliate us?" Alice just nodded her head. "Well, I decided that the only way to get them back completely, especially Potter, would be to make up our own code and use it in the same way they used theirs."

"So what does thirsty mean then?"

"Promise you won't laugh? It's the best I could do…" Alice nodded her head once more and crossed over her heart.

"Thirsty means turned on." Alice laughed her head off, so much for her promise.

"That's so good! So like, did that make you thirsty? Oh my god!" Alice doubled over in laughter once more.

"Well, at least you find it funny. Now I just have to figure out how to use it against him.

The next week went by pretty quickly but Lily still hadn't gotten her chance to get James back. She knew, however, that she had to do it soon because Alice and her were starting to give each other away. For instance, when they had their class "pizza" party in muggle studies Alice kept hearing Sirius talk about how "fluffy" it was or James mumble the word "orgy" every five seconds and they couldn't help but giggle. Then there was their constant tormenting of Snape at breakfast, or in Potions, asking him about his glove that he had yet to lose, or him being "hungry" all the time. The newest word that the marauders had obviously switched was pepperoni. They didn't need to guess what the other word that went with that was. They had heard Sirius mention little Sirius, along with little, little Peter the other day. That is one topic that they didn't need to hear about… Basically, everyone either thought that they were becoming ditzy, giggling girls or were on sugar highs all the time. Little to their knowledge Sirius knew better.

Then they finally decided to put their plan into action. Over the span of one week, they had managed for quite a bit of confusion to pass over the marauders.

Monday after Gryffindor's quidditch match against Hufflepuff: "Oi! Potter! Are you thirsty?" She said while shaking a bottle of water.

James gulped. She was wearing her Gryffindor uniform just like that day she had asked him if he was hungry.

"Ugh, sure?"

"That's nice, I'll be going now." As Lily and Alice walked off of the quidditch pitch James couldn't help but think how good that water would have been. Then again, Lily would have been nicer…

Tuesday, Potions class: "Hey Avery! Would you ever have pizza with Snape?" Remus just rolled his eyes at Sirius' remark.

"Why would I? A noble pureblood (a/n: is he? I don't really know…) lower my standards to food for muggles?"

"It's good, that's why!"

Wednesday, lunch at the great hall: "Ah, the old pepperoni feels good after a certain fluffy treatment it got last night." Sirius said with a satisfied smirk, or at least it was until he turned to get pumpkin juice shot all over his face by Lily.

"Ah, come on Evans! Say it! Don't spray it!"

Thursday as Alice sat down in the common room next to her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom: "Hey, hun. Are you by any chance hungry? We could sneak down to the kitchens?"

She could feel her eye start to twitch in her struggle not to burst out laughing again.

"Alright, sounds fluffy." Frank just stared at her in confusion before shrugging his shoulders and helping her get up.

Friday night, Heads meeting: After shuffling a few papers Lily stood up, stretching her arms.

"For some reason I'm really turned on. I think I'll go to bed and get a glass of water. Good night James." She smirked as she left the room at his expression. No words could be used to describe it. As she turned around the corner she could hear James yell…

"Padfoot! Where the fuck are you!"

Later that night, James finally found Sirius sitting in their dorm room talking to Remus.

"No! I don't care what you say Moony! The Chuddley Cannons will win this year! I don't care about the odds; I've got a feeling in my gut!" Remus shook his head, and was about to respond when James cut him short.

"You guys, the weirdest thing happened during my meeting with Lily. She said that the meeting had made her turned on when we had just finished talking about patrol duties! I mean, I know she takes her job seriously but isn't that a bit much!?"

"Umm, I'll let you two sort this out on your own… I've got a study date in the library." Remus was about to walk out the door when Sirius yelled, "All right! Moony's going to get some pizza!" Remus just paused before heading out the door while shouting behind him, "I just might!"

"Anyways… What the hell do you think this means Padfoot?"

"I think that it means that I should take a walk…" and with that Sirius left the room. He had a hunch and had to talk to a certain red head.

"What is it with everyone leaving me on a cliff tonight!? Honestly…" James grumbled as he flopped onto his bed.

Meanwhile, with the common room nearly empty…

"Evans! I've got a bone to pick with you!"

**A/N: So what did you think? Please review! Especially all those people who have me on alerts but don't review! Lol:P. Btw, if I'm taking forever to update just look at my profile because I've been posting how far progressed I am in the chapter. Someone asked me how far I plan on taking this story and to be honest if it's only until they start going out, only a few more chapters. If you guys want more after, than yeah, I'll continue.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I tried to reply to everyone but I lost track so I just gave up (nice, huh?)**

**-jillybear**


	5. Hot Chocolate and Sex

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Thanks go to ****Cookies94 for helping me with the code word for this chapter! Don't worry! I have more up my sleeve…**

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own are some of the code words… No, I don't own Hp, BUT I WANT IT FOR CHRISTMAS!**

The Marauder's secret code part four

Hot chocolate and sex

_Last time:_

"_Evans! I've got a bone to pick with you!"_

Lily looked up from her transfiguration homework to see Sirius Black storming across the common room towards her. Sighing, she took her books off of her lap and stood up.

"What do you want Black? Believe it or not I actually have work to do!"

"Only if you answer my question first… Evans, are you hungry for pizza with a pepperoni?"

"Umm… Well I don't think I am qualified to answer your silly little questions! Unlike you I have a brain!"

"That or you know the deeper meaning of that sentence!" the look on her face only confirmed his suspicions.

"Alright, I'm going to have to talk to you outside somewhere where we can't be overheard. Unless you want me to scream this entire conversation in here?" he said with a smirk.

"Fine, just don't think that this means that I'm going to actually tell you anything."

"Actually Miss Evans, I think that's exactly what it means." As she rolled her eyes, the two of them walked out of the common room and into the hallway. After walking in silence for a few minutes Sirius lead her into an empty classroom.

"How did you find out about our code, and don't play dumb with me. It's not exactly attractive on girls like you." His smirk quickly turned to an expression of complete seriousness.

Sensing that she wasn't going to get out of this situation, (not to mention the fact that she couldn't lie to Sirius without him seeing right through her) she decided to tell the truth.

"I… I found the piece of parchment with your code on it…" she mumbled. A look of comprehension passed over his face while he grumbled under his breath about what a stupid idea it had been to write down the code.

"Ah. So I take it then that you now understand most of our conversations these days then?"

"Yes, and a little more than tha-" she had said too much. He couldn't know about her and Alice switching around words too.

"You switched around thirsty with something didn't you!?" Sirius exclaimed. She merely nodded her head.

"That's why Prongs was in such a mood… Wait a minute! He mentioned that at the end of your heads meeting you said that you were turned on. That's what you switched it with, isn't it! You know… for a girl, you wouldn't make a half-bad marauder."

"Oh please Black! Like I would ever want to be a marauder…"

"Oh but you do want to torture James, don't you? I must inquire, I'm afraid as to why you are doing this to James… You see, I have a theory that you just might like him." She sent him an evil glare, daring him to continue and see what it got him.

"So what if I do? I can't see how it would involve you, Sirius unless you want to date him!"

"It involves me if you plan on stomping allover my best mate's heart, Miss Evans." He said in a cool, collected voice. "You see, I plan on finding out why you started your own code and what exactly your intentions are with our dear Prongs."(**No pun intended! Woopsie!**)

"Fine…" She sighed. "I made up my own code to get back at James and the rest of your for attempting to humiliate me with yours. After I thought he had faced enough I was going to talk to him about how I feel. I do want to be with him. He just has to face his own humiliation first."

"Now that I can respect!" Sirius squealed in delight as he jumped to hug her.

"Ummm, Sirius? What are you doing?" she said as she attempted to pull out of his grasp.

"I'm hugging you because I finally know why James likes you so much!" he said as he stepped out of the hug. "That and I can really respect a girl who knows how to get even!"

"So does that mean that you'll help me?" Lily looked up at him hopefully.

"Hell yeah!" he was jumping up and down at this point. "I love defying my friends!"

"Good, because I thought of another word. It's not as good as anything that you marauders could come up with but I think it has a woman's touch. I was thinking that we could switch around chocolate with men!" Sirius just looked at her, slightly confused.

"I don't get it!"

"You know… Hey Sirius, do you like chocolate?"

"Oh! Yes that will definitely work… Now we just need a plan…" The two walked out of the classroom back on their way to Gryffindor common room with a plan forming in their minds.

As the week went on several events occurred…

Monday, Defense against the dark arts with Slytherin: "Oi! Snape! Have you ever stolen someone else's glove?"

"No Potter, only yours! I would much rather watch you suffer!"

While Alice and Lily stifled their laughter Remus, Peter, and Sirius were howling with laughter. James, however, had a look of pure disgust on his face.

"So does that mean that Snape raped James?" Lily whispered to Sirius after class.

Tuesday: "Remus, do you like chocolate?" Alice had been informed of the new code word the moment that it had appeared into Lily's mind.

"Why yes I do! In fact, I love chocolate!"

"Ok you two! I thought we agreed on only torturing James if you had to choose a marauder! Not Remus! He's the only decent one! Not to mention he has a craving for those cocoa beans like no other." Sirius said as the three of them watched Remus on his way to the kitchens to fulfill his need for his favorite candy.

Wednesday, dinner at the great hall: "Tell me James." Lily said sweetly as she placed the pudding bowl as far away possible from him. "Do you have a craving for chocolate?"

James stared longingly at the pudding. Lily really could be evil sometimes, there was hardly any left and he hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"Yes! I HAVE A HUMONGOUS CRAVING FOR CHOCOLATE RIGHT NOW! NOW GIVE ME MY BLOODY PUDDING!"

Snickering, Lily gave him the pudding and watched him gobble it down as she left to go study.

Thursday, after Gryffindor won the quidditch match: "Yeah! Sex party in the common room!" James looked stupidly around at the gapped faces he was surrounded by and the interested look on the some of the 5th year Hufflepuffs.

"I mean, PIZZA PARTY!" and with that everyone cheered and headed back up to the castle.

Friday night: "Moony! Where have you been?"

"I, Sirius, just got back from having sex and hot chocolate in the kitchens with Sarah, from Hufflepuff."

"Oh my! Sounds fluffy!" Remus just rolled his eyes obviously just thinking about the original code words. If only he knew…

On Saturday night Lily, Alice and Sirius sat in the library studying. By studying I mean Lily and Alice were working, Sirius was talking with his feet on the table. He had started hanging out with them more lately to try and help them get back at James. He was his best friend after and as the saying goes… A friend will help you up if you fall; a best friend helps you fall flat on your arse.

"You know, I keep forgetting about our new code words, can I add them to the original list?" Sirius as asked, removing his feet from the table to lean forward.

"I don't know Sirius… Isn't that how Lily found about the code in the first place? It just doesn't seem like a good idea…" Alice clearly doubted Sirius' judgment.

"I swear I won't let it leave my sight!"

"I kind of agree with Alice. What if your friends saw it?" Lily had completely abandoned her studies at this point.

"So what if they did? We got them back enough and the fact that we already made up more codes without them knowing would shock them enough! But it doesn't matter because I won't let them see it! I promise!"

"Alright Sirius… Just don't let them get a hold of it!" While Sirius wrote down the new words and Lily went to re-open her books Peter came running through the library towards them.

"Guys! It's James! I think he was attacked by the Slytherin quidditch team! He's in the hospital wing! We need to go now!"

They all gathered up their books in a rush and followed Peter out of the Library. Severus Snape however, had taken interest in one piece of parchment that had been left in the middle of the table…

**A/N: So did you like it? Let me know, I wasn't sure about this one… I know I picked on Remus a lot but it was way too easy! Review please! I need to know if the ending was ok.**

**Aisyy: Call my cell and leave a message after you read this! Dance is over at 4:00 pm.**


	6. Hungry Ghosts and exercising teenagers

**A/N: I'm not positive whether I should continue my other fanfic or not, read thoughts from a venom less snake and review to let me know! This Chapter is dedicated to Crayon-Chan and Aisyy who helped me with a certain part. Sorry to take so long but my life's been a little crazy lately.**

**Disclaimer: Ok, so I don't own Harry Potter! No need to make me feel all depressed…**

Of Hungry Ghosts and exercising teenage boys

James Potter was in the hospital wing and he had no idea as to how he had gotten there. The last thing he could remember was heading in the direction of the library to see why Sirius was hanging out with Lily, his Lily, and Alice. It just didn't make any sense… He couldn't even remember seeing the person who attacked him; all he remembered was falling to the ground and waking up here. Something wasn't right, and he would figure it out…

Just then Madam Pompfrey walked into the room holding a tray of food.

"Oh good, you're up. Now I don't care if you don't feel like eating because it's either eat t'ill you're sleepy or sleep t'ill your hungry!"

As James tried to think of what to say while stifling his laughter Lily, Sirius, Peter and Alice all ran into the hospital wing.

"James!" Lily screamed as she flung herself onto him. Then of course after realizing what she was doing, she quickly got up, brushed herself off and said "Lovely to see you're ok Potter."

"Better than lovely! Incredible! Prongs! I was so worried!" Sirius exclaimed with a dramatic wave of his hands.

"Ok, Padfoot! No need to go all drama queen on me again. Speaking of drama queens, where's Remus? I could be on my death bed right now and he wouldn't have a chance to say good bye!" Sirius, Peter, Lily and Alice all exchanged looks.

"Ummm, Peter did you tell Remus before you went to get us?" Alice asked him while placing her hands on her hips. Peter gulped. If there was anything in the entire world that scared him, it was an angry woman. He had learned the hard way with professor McGonagall.

"Ugh, right! I'll go get him!" and with that he scurried out of the room.

Meanwhile back in the library….

"Well what do we have here? A code? Now this sure would explain a lot…" As Severus Snape read the piece of parchment his eyes went stony as he realized just about a hundred jokes that had been directed at him. And boy was he mad. He stood up quickly and fled from the library to the Slytherin common room, his robes billowing behind him.

"Oi! Snape! What are you doing?" asked Avery as Snape took the book of curses out of his hands.

"Read this." As the young man read the parchment he had a look of pure stupidity on his face.

"What does this mean? I don't get it. These are just normal words with a different meaning, why would they-oh. Never mind. I get it. "

"Yes, they've been playing us and the rest of our peers. Although that one against Dumbledore was pretty good… But that's not the point! We can beat them at their own game! Think of what we could do!" Severus was starting to get excited now.

"We could pick on Slytherins like they did? I don't want to do that!"

"No you blithering idiot! We can make fun of teachers, ghosts and other students! Think of the brilliance!"

"Oh! Now that makes sense!"

Monday: "Hey! Nearly Head-Less Nick!"

"What is it? Don't you lot have your own ghost to bother?"

"We just wanted to know if ghosts ever get hungry?"  
"Oh no you don't! Those pesky marauders said that to me last week! I shall not tolerate that question again!"

Tuesday: "Hey Black! You hungry?"

"Not at the moment, but I bet you are after looking at me!"

"Sirius," whispered Lily "do you think they know about the code?"

"I don't know… We'll know soon…"

Wednesday: "Hey Snivilley! Did you take James' glove?"

"Brilliant, everyone knows that he stole James' quidditch "virginities"." Alice whispered to Lily.

"Well… I ugh, ummm…. No!"

"Oh bloody hell. He knows."

Thursday: "Ok, so what are we going to say today Snape?"

"Nothing. I don't know about you, but I don't want people to think I had pizza with James…"

Friday in the boys' dormitories…

Sirius was standing in front of the mirror combing his hair in his boxers and undershirt.

"Sirius my boy," he said while stroking his chin "You. Are. One. Sexy. Beast. Oh woops! The code… hmmm, I think I feel a song coming on…"

_Pizzalicious, definition make them girls go crazy_

_They always claim they know me, come up to me call me Siri_

_I'm the S to the I, R, I the U the S…_

_Ain't no other bloke who put it down like me_

_I'm Pizzalicious_

_My body stays vicious_

_I be up in the gym just working on my fitness_

_She's my witness_

_I put them girls on rock-_

"What the bloody hell are you doing!?"

"Ummm, exercising?" he said turning around to see James, Remus and Peter standing there behind him.

"Right… On second thought I don't want to know." Said Remus as he shook his head.

"Hey, has Lily been acting weird lately, or is it just me?" asked James as he flopped onto his bed.

"Ummm, Lily's always been weird!" covered Sirius.

"No, now that you mention it she has been… And why have been hanging around her and Alice lately more than with us?" Remus said as he stroked his chin.

"They smell better?"

"Nice try Padfoot but I know something has to be up." James said as he sat up. "And I'm going to go find out." And with that he got up to head down the stairs.

Meanwhile, in the common room…

"So Lily… how has your relationship with James improved?" asked Alice.

"Ok I guess. I've seen him more lately because of Sirius. I still want more though…"

"Ah well. Just finish using the code to get back at him so you can finally get to the fun part. Dating." She finished the sentence with a dream like face.

"Christ Alice. He needs to realize what I went though. That's why I made up those words-"

"I knew it!"

Alice and Lily turned around to see James standing directly behind them.

**A/N: I decided to mean and stop it here. :P I wanted to have it up tonight because I won't be back from my grandparents until the 26****th****. Reviews would be much appreciated! Sorry for the short-ness! **

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! OR HAPPY WINTER SOLTICE TO THOSE WHO DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS! If I get enough reviews and have some spare time I might have the next chapter up before the 3rd of January. HAPPY NEW YEAR.**

**jillybear**


	7. breaking news guys!

Hey guys, sorry but this isn't an actual chapter. I know I said that I'd have the next one up by Jan. 3rd but I have legitimate reasons to why it's not up!

First of all I had soooo much stuff due for when I started school again

I also was very busy with my personal life

I decided when starting to write the new chapter that the next one will be the last because the story's dragging on too much and it's time that it ended. So the next one will be somewhat longer and answer all of your questions. I will post my all time fav. Review with that one :P just because there are some that were pretty damn hilarious. (like how everyone was disturbed at the Dumbledore joke I made in the first chapter)

This was originally made to be a one-shot, so it's been a little hard writing more to it because that's not what I originally planned.

So guys, just give me around another week and I will have the next and final chapter of the marauder's secret code up. SORRY IF ANYONE THOUGHT THIS WAS A CHAPTER! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I ONLY WANT THE LAST CHAPTER TO BE THE BEST!

-jillybear xox


	8. Operation Whore House

**A/N: yeah so I actually couldn't choose my fav review too post so I just didn't lol. THERE WERE TOO MANY!**

**I don't really think this is very good but I had to update to avoid being stabbed by spoons/being forced to eat a baby by cookies94…**

**Disclaimer: do I honestly still have to do these? If I owned Harry Potter I would have my own computer and would actually buy a decent lunch at school. So no, I don't own it.**

Operation whore house

Final Chapter/Part Six of the Marauder's Secret Code

_Last time…_

"_Christ Alice. He needs to realize what I went though. That's why I made up those words-"_

"_I knew it!"_

_Alice and Lily turned around to see James standing directly behind them._

"Alice, would you mind giving Lily and I a minute please?" Alice knew that it was more of a statement than a question and quickly left the room laughing to herself the entire time.

"Lily… I'm guessing that you obviously know about the code now?" Lily just nodded her head in response. She had a feeling that her answer wasn't necessary to confirm his suspicions.

"Yes, and I take it that you also mad up your own words which would explain a lot…"

"Only a few… and I never really got to use them against you very much."

"Oh, well then I'm sorry for your sorrows." He said with sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

"James, you're just being a hypocrite. You are the one who made and used against me originally."

"Yeah, well I didn't ask for help from Alice either. Yet you decided to use Sirius against me. And I thought that you were teasing me because you liked me… I guess you were right. I am just that conceited." And with that James left the common room in a storm.

"James Potter! Come back here!" screamed Lily as she ran through the portrait hole.

The next day….

Lily had never managed to find James as he had somehow disappeared and he was currently avoiding her. He wouldn't listen to Alice, Remus, or Sirius (Peter was too scared of James when he was angry to go near him). Meanwhile Sirius, Alice and Remus were thinking up of a plan to get back at the Slytherins who attacked James.

"Ok, so we all know that the quidditch team needs to suffer payback for attacking James, from behind none the less. They shall pay for their folly!" Alice and Remus just stared at Sirius.

"Did you get say folly and use it correctly?" asked Alice.

"I think he did… Is my head still on correctly? I think my jaw dropped too far when he said it. I may have to re-attach it later." Remus replied.

"Well seeing as you can't shut your gob I'd say it's just fine. And I'll have you know that I can use fancy words too! Now… we need to get to work. Wipe that grimace off of your face Remus! This is for James! Besides, maybe a good prank will cheer him up and he'll talk to Lily." The three of them spent the rest of the day planning what they would do at breakfast in two days. In the mean time, Alice would have to get Lily to cheer up a bit.

"So Lily… What do you want to do today?" Alice said as she sat down onto the edge of Lily's bed.

"Stay in here and study."

"Well if you must study why don't we at least go to the library? James and Remus are in there studying so-"

"No Alice. I'm fine in here. Besides, James doesn't want to talk to me."

"Lily, of course he does!"

In the library…

"No Remus, I don't want to talk to her."

"James, if you love her as you've claimed to over the years then you should at least listen to her story! She likes you!" For a second James looked hopeful then he wiped the smile off of his face.

"If she likes me then why would she seek revenge?"

"You bloody idiot, you used the code against her in the first place! Did you honestly think she would let you off that easy!?"

"Well, no but-"

"Just promise me you'll talk to her."

"Fine. I will later."

Meanwhile, on the fourth floor hallway…

"Woohoo! Looky over there Peter. I think I found myself a new challenge."

"Ok Sirius, but shouldn't we be trying to get our plan for the Slytherins into action?" Peter was always nervous around girls, especially pretty ones.

"We will later but I have to at least talk to this one… Hey Pete, can you play me a beat?" He said while still looking at the girl talking to her friends at the end of the corridor.

"Umm, why? Isn't that a little strange?"

"Yes, but so are you. Besides, how am I supposed to sing my theme song if I don't have any background music?"

"Wait you aren't going to sing that demented song again are you? Because if you are then I am not-"

"Oi! Just do it!" and with that Peter started his attempt at a beat while Sirius began to do his strut down the corridor.

_Pizzalicious, definition make them girls go crazy_

_They always claim they know me, come up to me call me Siri_

_I'm the S to the I, R, I the U the S…_

_Ain't no other bloke who put it down like me_

_I'm Pizzalicious_

_My body stays vicious_

_I be up in the gym just working on my fitness_

_She's my witness_

_I put them girls on rock rock_

"Hello darling what's your name?" he said while placing his hand on the wall next to her and placing his weight on it.

Unfortunately for Sirius, all of the girls started to walk away giggling like mad.

"Maybe they don't the like the Sirius theme song?" Peter suggested.

"No, the beat was all wrong. That must have been it. Next time I'll get Remus to do it…" As the two walked back down the opposite direction of the girls Sirius just kept mumbling to himself, _It wasn't you mate. The girl's love you. You are the sexiest beast to ever come out of Hogwarts. You ARE pizzalicious…_

The next morning at breakfast in the great hall…

"Hey, did you guys hear the rumor about the sex party that the Slytherin quidditch team had last night?" some Hufflepuffs could be heard gossiping.

"I heard from a very reliable source that they all had sex with each other! There were even some hookers involved!" could be heard at the Ravenclaw.

"They disgrace the Slytherin name!" was coming from several people at the Slytherin table.

"I heard that McGonagall was pissed at Slughorn and told him that Hogwarts is a school not a whore house and that he should take better care of his students!" James smirked at that comment.

"You guys did this, didn't you." He said while turning towards Sirius and Remus. Peter was avoiding Sirius at the moment.

"Yeah, but Alice helped. She was the one that found out about their little "sex" party after their quidditch practice. I of course wasn't lying at all when I mentioned this near a bunch of third years last night. Well, you know Hogwarts. Never takes long for things to get around."

"Well, you guys did a pretty good job. Did McGonagall actually say that? Or was that part of the rumor?"

"Yes and no. We did say McGonagall was pissed at Slughorn but then they found powdered dragon's eggs in their trunks! So it was a double whammy! Three of their players have been suspended and the rest are too ashamed to leave the common room!" Exclaimed Sirius. He was so proud at the way their "innocent" little prank had turned out and now James was looking quite a bit happier.

"So Jamsie boy… Why don't you go talk to Lily? She seems likes she's getting ready to leave…"

"I don't know Sirius, I mean-"

"I DON'T CARE! YOU'RE GOING!" Sirius said a little too loud. He looked around to see several people staring at him. "What? Go back to your breakfast people! Nothing too see here!"

"Very nice Sirius, or should I call you mom?" James said while chuckling.

"I don't care what you call me but Lily is leaving by herself! Go grasshopper! I have taught you well!" he said while shooing James away."

"Sirius, what are you-"

"GO!" and with that James ran out the doors after Lily.

"That was… interesting Sirius." Sighed Remus after he took a bite out of his toast.

"Yeah, yeah. If you say so…" he said as his gaze drifted off to yet another new girl.

Meanwhile on the stairway leading to the first floor…

"Lily! Wait up!" James said as he ran to catch up with her. She did not stop; she only slowed down a little so that he could eventually catch up with her.

"What is it James? I thought that you'd made it clear that you didn't want to talk to me." She was clearly not in a good mood.

"I know but I realized that we really need to talk about this."

"What's "this"? Last time I checked, you thought I was using Sirius purely to get back at you and you decided to ignore me for a week. What on earth could we discuss?" She then tried to walk ahead of him but his legs were longer.

"I want to know what exactly your thoughts were when you did that." He said while stepping in front of her.

"Maybe the fact that before I could actually tell you how I felt about you I had to even the score? Or the fact that Sirius would only help me for a certain promise?" she couldn't stop herself; the words just came tumbling out.

"How… How _do_ you feel about me?" he asked shyly.

_Well this is strange… James is actually shy for once. _Lily thought to herself.

"Well… James I like you. There I said it. Are you happy? Sirius wouldn't help me unless I promised to actually give you a chance." After a long awkward pause Lily turned and started to walk away, tears forming in her eyes when all of a sudden she felt two lips being pressed against hers. She graciously returned the favor. After a few minutes of pure lust, clapping could be heard from across the hallway. Remus, Peter, Alice, and Sirius all stood there.

"Way to go Prongs!" Peter shouted.

"Hey! Jamsie boy! Be sure to not spill any special sauce on Lily! Always use a pizza box! Oh! Don't forget to-" Sirius tried to pry Remus' hand away from his face as Lily and James walked away, clearly embarrassed by their friends' behavior.

"What's the matter with you? I had one more!"

"Exactly."

August, 1997.

Harry Potter sat in his room going through a box of things he had collected from Sirius' old bed room. At the very bottom of the box he found a crumpled old piece of parchment.

"The Marauder's secret code? What is this?" he thought out loud.

And hence, the new generation of the code was born.

**A/N: Sniff it's all over. Awwwwwww**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed this story! So many of them made me laugh and thanks to those who offered criticism to help with the next chapter! And I know I brought in Pizzalicious once again but I couldn't think of a new theme song so I just used that one. BYE AND FOR THE LAST TIME! PLEASE REVIEW:P**

**jillybear**


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